Who Would Live In A House Like This?

Torquay United are up for sale, still, and are apparently a bargain.

Chairman David Phillips has told the press (http://www.thenonleaguefootballpaper.com/latest-news/conference-premier-step-one/17044/torquay-united-up-for-sale-for-bargain-price-says-chairman-david-phillips/) the club is available for less than the price of a “big detached house”.

This past weekend, Torquay had to make the decision between paying for a hotel and a coach to Boreham Wood as they couldn't afford both. Players eventually drove to their hotel, with manager Kevin Nicholson having acted as the minibus driver on several occasions last season.

A football club that is barely keeping its head above water, constantly generating headlines about its cash-strapped nature, simply isn't going to attract a bidder with the right intentions - especially with a price tag that can be termed in the size of house it can buy.

Torquay had been, for years, a reasonably well run club. Former chairman Mike Bateson wasn't necessarily popular among supporters, but the wheels kept on turning at a club that was fairly financially prudent during his lengthy ownership. When Bateson chose to leave, even he would probably admit making a mistake in selling the club to a consortium led by Chris Roberts. A mistake it was, with Roberts backing out of the deal just six months later after attendances crumbled and he was unable to raise the funds to complete the deal.

Bateson stepped back in, steadied the ship once more, but was still looking at the exit. Along came Paul Bristow, a £15million Lottery winner who eventually brought in both his wife and son onto the Board. Bristow's generosity - and, indeed, the entire family's - kept the club running for eight years, even through his death and the passing of the Chairmanship to wife Thea Bristow.

When she elected to leave, a year after losing their Football League status, the club noted her 'incredible generosity' in leaving the Gulls in a good financial position, with a new grandstand named after her husband to boot. However the hunt for new owners with financial clout proved fruitless time and again.

By Phillips' own admission, the Bristows had been subsidising losses at the club of up to £500,000 a year. Without the lottery money, cuts had to be made to prevent a meltdown.

First to go at Plainmoor was the youth setup, then the training ground was surrendered. Staff followed, leaving those remaining to take on multiple roles, and the first team squad was reduced to bare bones with players brought in non-contract to boost numbers. A series of vague statements hinted at takeovers being close, negotiations progressing, but never quite completing with last minute hurdles always seeming to get in the way, leading to numerous apologies to supporters from the board for the lack of information.

The most recent takeover proposal by Gaming International, an operator of greyhound and speedway tracks in Poole and Swindon, fell apart over the ownership of the Plainmoor stadium, with the local Council refusing to relinquish ownership of a prime piece of development land for the potential bidders to develop a new stadium on the back of a development of the Plainmoor site. The club say the ownership of Plainmoor was never part of the agreement they had with the Swindon based outfit.

Phillips' asking price for the club, whatever he terms a "big detached house" to be worth (Rightmove indicates a 4 bed detached property in Torquay starts at £250,000) is excessive for a club that needs immediate inward investment and has few assets of its own.

The club has 1100 reported season ticket holders, most paying just £200 - less than £9 a game when the main stand is £19 per match - for National League football. Average attendances have seen only around 1000 additional paying supporters for each game this season - a figure that is hardly going to justify a six-figure price tag when a similar sum would be needed to sustain the club for the remainder of the season and into the lean summer months - let alone challenge for a place back in the Football League.

Maybe Phillips meant to say the club was for sale for one months rent of a "big detached house".

David, it's over to you...