A Near Miss

So, last June I suffered a stroke and almost died. How lucky was I? Incredibly.

I woke up on a Sunday morning. Went to the bathroom, picked up a couple of shirts to wash, and went downstairs. I stopped at my desk and collected some rubbish, went to the kitchen. On arriving at the bin I had no rubbish in one hand. The shirts were still in the other. I had no idea what happened.

Then it went blank. Briefly.

My eyes blurred. My thoughts went. It might have been a second but it was very scary. I lurched towards the washing machine to put the shirts in. I managed to open the door, put the shirts into the machine. And nothing else.

I staggered back into the corner of my kitchen, between sink and work surface. My right side wedged into the corner as it shut down in a systematic fashion. My arm was immovable, my leg followed. I had no idea what was happening. 

My left side was functioning. I grabbed a cup from nearby, put it on the sink floor, and turned the tap on. Had a sip. No change. Fuck. I was in trouble. I didn't know why I thought water would cure the situation, I just now knew it wasn't the answer.

If this had happened a few seconds earlier I would have been at the top of the stairs and tumbled down. If I had done the usual and put my phone on charge in the morning it would have been in another room and help would be unobtainable. As it was, it was in the pocket of my functioning left side.

If. If. If.

I rang the emergency services. They responded quickly. The ambulance was there in minutes. With the doors locked, the Fire Brigade were there not long after to break in. They got me out and into hospital in good time.

And I say good time because what happened next needed to be done in good time.

On the journey my face slipped, my speech slurred, all the signs of a stroke. Without what happened next I would have spent six months in hospital and the same again - at least - recovering at home.

They rushed me in, did their tests, consulted with a specialist in Birmingham, and offered me a drug new to the frontline that I was quick enough into the hospital to be capable of having.

And I'm living proof that science works.

Afterwards I was told it was the first time in the same day that two patients had been given the drug in Hereford County Hospital. It was that new. Both of us recovered.

While I had survived the stroke, I then had to survive the recovery. And you will never realise how debilitating a  hospital stay is until you've experienced it.

The only time my feet touched the floor in two weeks was to move from bed to chair. No further. It was strictly forbidden. Bedpans and Bedbaths, the X-rated Disney film no independent self respecting forty-something wants to be involved in.

When I was eventually asked to stand up after that time my ankles felt like they were rotating wildly like disco lights. It took two full days to be able to stand up with any confidence.

Over the next two weeks I became able to walk short distances. It's amazing how fast the body ceases to function when total inertia sets in. Then I attempted stairs. Three. Then six. Then a full flight.

The hospital spent three days trying to farm me out to Ross Community Hospital for further care. Ross didn't want me. Said they didn't cater for such a patient. I was classed as bariatric. Something I was when going in but, due to the diagnosis, I was no longer.

I had been diagnosed with water retention. Stemming, it seems, from my cancer treatment in 2012 and the drugs administered at the time. My weight had ballooned in the previous couple of months to a point of crisis.

In six weeks, after being put on water loss tablets, I lost 12 stone.

The sheer quantity of loss mystified everyone. I had been, apart from the sudden gain, pretty much the same weight for years. Now I was a lot less. I was now the same weight I had been in college, nearly 30 years ago.

Cue the purchase of a full new wardrobe of clothes... still with the same bland taste!

Since coming home I've had a very slow adaptation to the new reality of life. After coming out of hospital I spent another month at home with a catheter inserted, losing more weight, so ordered groceries to be delivered to the house.

When the catheter was finally removed I went to fetch milk. Carrying a four pint plastic bottle 20 yards to the checkout felt like the movement of an atlas stone. It was my full effort not to drop it or collapse under the weight.

The recovery wasn't necessarily from the illness, it was now the recovery from the treatment.

The month in hospital caused more damage to me than the stroke, but it was necessary to allow the cure to be successful. I slowly built my strength back up and returned to work - a desk job - a month later on shorter hours.

I've got a long journey to go. I'm good with many things but still struggle with some mundane stuff. I've got things that will not change and will restrict what I can do for the rest of my life. But I do have a life.

 And that is down to the good people at Hereford County Hospital.

"Taken The Club As Far As We Can"

It's fairly rare that a football club owner will admit defeat in their aims, but at Gateshead realism seems to be plentiful.

Three years after taking over the club, husband and wife pair Richard and Julie Bennett have uttered the title words in their statement putting the club back up for sale. They bought the club from Graham Wood, who spent nine years at the helm before admitting that his age was against him in his plan to return the Heed to the Football League.

The original club had lost their place in the 92 in 1960, and had subsequently gone bust twice in quick succession before Wood's arrival established them as a fifth tier full time club. Wood planned not only further progress on the field, but also off it with an ambitious new stadium. Neither have been realised, with Wood abandoning plans to move ground a couple of years before his own departure.

The well proportioned, but unsuited to football, International Stadium gives a limited appeal to the traditional football supporter and attendances have barely moved since its appearance in the fifth tier. A 30% surge in attendances after a play-off final defeat in 2013/14 wasn't retained, and just nine more people watch the Heed on average than did so six seasons ago. Their average attendance being the second worst in the division and one of only four totaling less than 1000, and propped up only by a bumper Boxing Day gate against local rivals Hartlepool. Three of their gates since that 3,500 attendance haven't exceeded 500 and are around 30% down match-by-match on attendances 12 months ago.

In reality, there seems to be little further for Gateshead to go under current circumstances. Dwarfed massively by their near neighbours Newcastle United, the Heed are an unattractive destination. Despite offering one of the cheapest admission prices in the league, and even cheaper for Newcastle or Sunderland season ticket holders, the club has been unable to hold on to any supporters it has attracted through on-field success and the full time model will have to be reviewed if the current downward trend on gates continues.

On the pitch the club has been quietly losing ground on its rivals. From the Wembley play-off final defeat the club has been a dozen points shy of the play-offs in each season since. This term the gap is 18 points so far even if their place in the table has barely moved.

The Club Statement advising the club is up for sale notes the club is being offered debt free, but it appears that any new owner would need deep pockets just to stand still in the tide.

Lane Of Woe

Once non-league titans, Worcester City now sit in a sorry mess of the club's own making. Homeless and nearing penniless, it has recorded a near £300,000 loss for last season to reduce its war chest from the sale of St George's Lane to only a couple of hundred thousand.

Current estimates say the club is expecting a loss this season of £60,000 in the officially amateur Step 5 Midland Football League where many of the lower end clubs barely pay players at all. However, at the top end, contracts are issued and six-figure overall wage budgets are common.

Chairman Anthony Hampson, a divisive figure among supporters having presided over much of their misfortune over the past ten years, says an 'out of control' wage bill was to blame for the losses with a £7,000-£8,000 a week budget planned during their final season in the National League North. Former Manager Carl Heeley has disputed Hampson's account, saying also becoming a Director of the club was the worst move of his career.

This season's loss will leave the club with around £150,000 of the proceeds of the sale of St Georges Lane, having spent £600,000 exiting a fruitless agreement with a developer to build a new stadium, and losing another £500,000 plus in the intervening years of homelessness.

Hampson says the club may have to go 'fully amateur' to afford a new stadium, with one Director - Club Secretary Kevin Preece - resigning his Directorship this week and calling for an AGM, the club's first in two years, to tell shareholders the true picture around the club. Joint Manager Lee Hughes followed shortly after, opting to move back up the divisions to Halesowen Town, saying that different Directors told him different things about Hampson's comments.

A second player exodus in 12 months is widely believed to be on the cards with the side holding only a slim chance of promotion back to the semi-pro ranks, currently sitting nine points below their landlords and derby rivals Bromsgrove Sporting, themselves at a low ebb after a major financial disaster.

Chasing The Deadly Dream

Barely a year after a takeover, Dagenham and Redbridge are the latest in a suddenly large list of National League clubs that are struggling for funds.

It has been little more than ten years since the ambitious Daggers ditched their 'owned by members' model to become the limited company that Football League rules demanded. Promotion to the fourth tier followed and a nine year stay followed. Relegation in 2016 sent them back and began their money troubles.

A consortium sealed a takeover in January 2017, coupled with a £1.3million injection, after the members turned shareholders voted in favour of the deal. That cash ran out early in the current season with chief funder Glyn Hopkin resigning his Board position and ceasing further cash injections at the end of 2017.

Hopkin blamed, in part, a campaign by supporters to oust the club's Managing Director, with a string of flags - including a North Korean one - displayed at games to infer the official's running of the club was akin to the secretive state.

On the pitch the club are five points short of the play-offs, having failed in last season's lottery to regain a spot among the 92. Out of both the FA Cup and Trophy at the first hurdle, the club have now circulated to clubs that they have 'a number of players' available for transfer. With no names listed, it usually means they will listen to any offers. First out the door was England C striker Morgan Ferrier back to old club Boreham Wood, while Sam Ling joined Leyton Orient. Both within 24 hours of the circular.

However Dagenham are far from the only club in trouble. Chester and Hartlepool have had their problems highlighted in recent weeks, while the mistrust over Torquay's owners continue and Woking's long awaited takeover leaves them in mid-table obscurity.

A step lower in the pyramid, Telford are only in existence due to the generosity of Wolves and their use of the ground for second string fixtures, while York City are claimed to need further seven-figure funding to secure their future before a move into the new stadium that was first due for completion in 2010 but has barely begun construction. Their long time majority owner, Jason McGill, has set an ultimatum to the minority owner, the Supporters Trust, to hand over their shares to ensure he continues to fund the sixth tier side, having needed to put in £90,000 last month to cover the wage bill.

Chasing the Football League prize is beginning to look like a very deadly dream.

The Russian Football Debacle

So, this isn't going to be necessarily true.

My parents ran the British Embassy bar in Moscow for a number of years during the Cold War. Both served in the Forces, and got married specifically to take the posting in Moscow in the late 1960s. They spent several years in Moscow running a bar and providing alcohol to functions hosted at the Embassy up to the end of 1971.

This is a story recounted by my father. He died in 1993. But, with the World Cup due to take place in Russia, it's probably apt that this story gets aired one more time. It's the only football related story of their time there.

Northern Ireland were set to play a match in Moscow. George Best, then given the unofficial title of the World's best footballer, was going to be in Moscow. It was 1969, and the two teams had just had a goalless draw in Belfast before a rematch barely a month later.

George Best played in the first game, but not the second. So I can't confirm whether George Best actually appeared. There seems to be no proof, no photographic evidence I can find. Just the anecdote.

The Russians were pleased to be hosting the greatest footballer in the world, and wanted to mark the occasion with something special. That was a large bottle of Vodka, presented before the game.

And, by large, it varied from being a metre tall to being as big as George Best himself depending on the retelling. This wasn't the Vodka of norm either. This was special Russian Vodka. Way over the ABV of that sold in the UK. Apparently.

The Northern Ireland team played in front of over 100,000 people that day and lost. They wanted to drown their sorrows. The problem was, this was a Police state. There were few bars that could host them.

So, off to the Embassy they went.

First the pints were poured, then the shorts, then the huge bottle of Vodka was opened. The team and the associated entourage drank everything in sight. And, as the son of Irish immigrants himself, my father joined them.

The only problem was that the bar operated under UK licencing laws. Back then it had to shut in the afternoon, and come 11pm the bar had to shut entirely. The on-site Police made sure of it. The visiting footballers asked if there was another - friendly - bar they could go to. There was. And it was open 24 hours.

They apparently wrecked the US Embassy bar and had to be escorted back to their hotel in the early hours by armed guard. Whether much of it is true is open to debate. History only records the 2-0 loss and not the post-match antics.

But, you'd like to hope it is true.

The Song Remains The Same

A new HUFC but the same crisis. Hartlepool United face an incredibly similar situation to Hereford United with a looming set of bills threatening their existence.

Both HUFCs were in Council-owned grounds, had a lengthy period of financial stability under owners that didn't necessarily have universal backing, and came to a financial meltdown in a hasty way following relegation.

While the Hereford United collapse took four years from the transfer of ownership from good to bad, it was in the Court facing a winding-up petition within two and a half. Hartlepool have reached crisis in similar time. In both cases the alarm bells really sounded after the loss of Football League status.

This week's stark calls for £200,000 in fourteen days to keep the club afloat come after a series of disastrous Boardroom appointments. The original bidders, Stephen Murrall and Peter Harris, were eventually convicted of fraud over their bid for the club, having helped themselves to gate receipts they weren't entitled to.

Their replacement, Gary Coxall, was declared bankrupt shortly after his tenure ended in May leaving Sage Investments holding the incredibly cash hungry baby that slipped out of the Football League shortly after Coxall's resignation. From stability in 2015 under the less than popular Ken Hodcroft to owing a reported £1.8million - mostly to Sage Investments - and needing a further six-figure sum in short order just two and a half years later.

The Supporters Trust have kept their powder dry so far, going only so far as to back supporters fundraising efforts. £11,000 and counting has been donated to a Just Giving page, with Middlesborough fans - mindful of their 1986 eviction and the assistance they had from Hartlepool while they were locked out of Ayresome Park - donating generously.

Sage Investments are reported to be looking for some of their debt to be returned with the club up for sale. Any bidder with good intentions for the club will demand every penny be written off. No sane businessman would buy a cash burning machine with debt already attached and, with both reported interested parties outside the UK, the likelihood of a millionaire fan making an altrusitic gesture is incredibly slim. We've been there.

The fans of the club may have to come to a realisation - that the club will only lurch from crisis to crisis without substantial investment over the next six months. There may well be no saviour that will throw sufficient money into the hole to plug it up. The debts will keep on coming into the summer as the players remain contracted to the club, so there's probably another £1million needed there. We've been there.

Administration isn't an option, not in the National League with their debt repayment rules. It'll buy time but will not reduce the sums owed. Agree with creditors to slash debts - or reach no deal at all - and the club will be demoted to Step 3. We've been there.

It is an unfortunate situation, not of the fans making, and there is an unfortunate outcome that will see the company die. But the club - the fans - will live on in the Council owned ground with a sensible business plan.

We've been there.

Pompey Agree To Eisner Deal

Billionaire Michael Eisner is set to become Portsmouth's new owner after the majority shareholders agreed to sell to the former Disney man.

Over 75% of the shareholders, including the Supporters Trust and the 'Pompey Presidents', voted in favour of the move meaning Eisner will now effectively repay shareholders their original investment and put a further £10million into the club whose Fratton Park stadium requires substantial repair.

80% of Trust members voted in favour, as did 75% of the Presidents with 81.4% of the total shareholding backing the move.

For some, like former Supporters Direct stalwart Kevin Rye, the decision is a dark day and - with nearly 20% of the shareholding against the proposal - that is significant opposition to selling to a scenario that previously saw the club plunge into peril. Eisner, and his Tornante vehicle, has set out a vision that will do to Portsmouth FC what Eisner did to Disney - commercialise the business to the further possible degree - but that he will protect the 'heritage' of the club.

The supporters of Portsmouth are in for interesting times. The EFL had already announced that most - if not all - games would be streamed live to a global audience for an estimated £110 a season per club and Eisner is likely to be keen to promote the Portsmouth 'brand' and 'heritage' outside the traditional area.

He will undoubtedly bring innovations in marketing previously unseen in football. Whether the traditional supporter will agree with them is another matter.